Keeping in Touch

I don't know what it is about keeping in touch that makes me run the other way. I'm not anti-social I do like talking to friends and relatives on a regular basis it's just that the whole concept of keeping in touch gets on my nerves. I tend to make it a chore. Then once it's a chore I don't want to do it anymore. I feel like there's an unwritten rule somewhere that says you have to call someone after a certain amount of time to catch up on everything you missed in their lives or else you're not a good friend, niece, grand-daughter, ex-roomate, etc. I just don't know what that time frame is. The end result: I go without talking to people for months for no apparent reason.

I have a friend from high school who lives in another state she and I talk on a regular basis. Regular meaning that we talk just enough to know of the other's major life-changing events like ("Oh, I got engaged") but not everyday stuff ("Geez, I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet again"). She could call me and we'll talk. Then a few weeks later I get this tingling urge and something in my head goes, "I think it's about time to call her," but I never do. The tingling continues and I blow it off time after time. I can do this for months. I'd rather loose touch with a friend than follow the urge and dial the number. It's ridiculous and pitiful. Then I look like an inconsiderate prick when they call me days, weeks, months later talking about how they haven't talked to me in FOREVER. I can't help but feel guilty.

Then once someone does call me after some time I know it's never going to be a short converstation. I always feel like I have to make up for not calling them by staying on the phone with them for 45 minutes to an hour in order to catch up only to realize all that was done about 15 minutes into the conversation.

On the other hand, sometimes I don't hear from people for ages and then they call me. I don't feel bad about them because in my head I'm thinking they're probably being just as lazy about calling me as I am about calling them. Those people I don't have to worry about disowning me. It's a miracle I still have friends at all. Just kidding but I never could get the keeping in touch thing right.