Hooker Heels

After years of anticipation, my mom and I finally made it to the much hyped $9.99 shoe store in Dallas. Every time we took the three hour drive from home we would see the sign pointing to the store where all shoes were only 10 bucks. We’re not talking busted shoes or no name kicks. We’re talking cute heels and boots. Things that we just couldn’t buy at home. Too bad all that anticipation was for nothing. When we entered this holy grail of shoe stores we were first hit by the odd but familiar mildew/must combination. Most likely coming from the flat, dark warehouse carpet lining the layout. Then, row after narrow row of stretched-out shoes in dingy boxes, some lining the floors. Since it was Saturday, the store was filled to the top with bargain hunters (like ourselves) thirsty for a deal. Unfortunately, the deals were solely dependent on one's taste. If you like strappy, 3-inch heel metallic red sandals with the extra thick sole at the bottom to help you if maybe you were a stripper to balance while you dip it low for a dolla then that's the $10 deal for you. Hey, you'd technically only have to do one dance (if you dip it enough) to pay 'em off. The shoe store discriminates against the rest of us sane individuals who can barely go clubbing in a pair of 2-inchers. High heels in general were not made for walking. I don't know who came up with that idea. I mean REAL walking: Walking in grass, over grates in the streets, walking down the block. NO! High heels, I'm talking about over 2-inches were meant to only take a female (or male, insert long snap 'cross the chest and a drawn out heeyyy! for all my feminine brothas) for a short trip down the imaginary catwalk in her room once or twice. That being said, nobody really wants to waste any amount of money on shoes that hurt or might seriously damage their feet after standing in them for a while. I don't really know were all these discount shoe retailers order their shoes but they all seem to be coming out of the same place. It seems like you can't even leave the store without seeing at least one pair of spike heel,peep-toe patent leather pumps with shiny, black varnish or the lime green floral print joints with the jewelry hangin' off the ankle. Better yet top that off with the boat like 3-inch pointy-toe heels in any color and you've just about been to every cheap shoe store in the nation all in one stop. Of course, all of them being only $10 bucks what more could we expect. Anyway, I know where to go if I need a pair of hooker shoes to go clubbin' in for a night.